A Hilarious Look At Why UberEATS Instant Ordering Was Quick To Fail

With the countless number of food delivery apps available, all of which promise lighting fast delivery times, the mobile food delivery business is becoming a sea of competition.

Now, UberEATS which started in 2014, is the newest rivalry to app store favorites like DoorDash, Seamless, Postmates, and GrubHub, but for Uber, its quest to takeover curbside food delivery is quickly lagging behind.

While Uber has yet to officially announce the demise of its culinary delivery service, here’s a list of reasons why we should already consider UberEATS a goner.

Downsizing delivery options

#everythingisfucked #notavailable

A photo posted by messystopheles (@messystopheles) on

In less than a month after launching, UberEATS stuck a fork in the “instant delivery” option in New York. Instant delivery promised customers a slimmed down version of UberEATS, with only two preselected menu options. By using the “Instant” delivery method,  users were to expect their order in 10 minutes. So, you’d rather not give customers food quickly?

Just another delivery app.


We get it. Uber wants to be known as a juggernaut of curbside service. If that’s the case, we suggest sticking to transportation only. UberEATS seems like Uber’s attempt at ruling the market. This isn’t Nam — there are rules. Michael Conti, General Manager of UberEATS NYC, explained to GrubStreet that the goal of Uber’s delivery would focus on orders from the most popular restaurants. Conti’s statement seems to contradict growth as it would limit the market in which food is available.

Handled with care?

Kara Swisher is well-known technology columnist and a executive editor at Re/code. If there’s anyone who understands the potentiality of UberEATS and the mobile delivery app universe, it’s her. So much for that. When you fuck up Kara Swisher’s order, it’s over. There’s no hope now. She recently plugged Munchery in a tweet about her dissatisfaction with her UberEATS order.

When orders are wrong users tweet (h)angrily. You already fucked up with Kara Swisher’s order, and Burger Girl is just as pissed, UberEATS!

Outplayed by competition.


Postmates just launched an instant delivery option in select areas of New York, with “instant” delivery window of 15 minutes or less, according to the Verge. Checkmate, UberEATS. Looks like you’re getting clowned.

By Evan Lancaster

A journalist focusing on news and anything that's trending. Insists that cherry flavoring makes any soft drink better. Follow him on Twitter or Instagram at @ThatsThatFuego.

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