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8 Regional Foods McDonald’s Should Deep Fry

Every corner of the country, every section  of the world, has its own unique dishes. In fact, there are some foods that have become so associated with these areas that they’re downright iconic. Enjoying a bagel in New York or cheese curds in Wisconsin just seems right, doesn’t it?

Most often, to enjoy these regional favorites, you have to travel to that part of the country to enjoy the best of that food. But there’s one restaurant that could very easily change all that: McDonald’s. Mickey D’s is the one thing that unites every part of our great nation, after all.

So, without further ado, we would like to present our eight suggestions for regional foods that McDonald’s should really consider deep-frying. No pressure, of course, just some friendly suggestions. (But seriously, fried key lime pie would be everything.)

California — Avocados

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This is a prime opportunity for McDonald’s. We’d like to think that getting their hands on one of the trendiest, most healthy superfoods in recent memory and turning it into a deep-fried treat is what the company exists to do. If that’s the route they decide to take, California avocados are an obvious choice. It might be difficult to imagine a deep-fried avocado, so allow us to paint you a more accessible picture: deep-fried guacamole. This exists, friends. Crunchy pockets of guac are an actual thing, and we would very much like to see them available worldwide.

Georgia — Grits

If you’ve ever been down South, you’ll probably see grits on a breakfast menu. Like, in every diner on every street. There’s a good reason for this; grits made right are like the cheesier, more savory older brother of oatmeal. Keep that thought in your head. Now imagine with us the majesty that could be deep-fried grits. We imagine them in little balls — kind of like fried mac n’ cheese bites, but with cheesy grits inside. Best of all? McDonald’s now has all-day breakfast, so we could enjoy these cheese-filled grit balls whenever we wanted. (Note: we don’t suggest “cheese-filled grit balls” as an official name.)

Ohio — Buckeyes

You might recognize these little guys from your holiday cookie platter! You probably didn’t even know that they’re a treat native to Ohio, unless you put together that it’s the “Buckeye State” and the whole Ohio State Buckeyes thing. Yeah. For those of you unfamiliar, buckeyes are actually peanut butter balls that are dipped in chocolate and chilled. We don’t have to tell you they’re extraordinary, you’ve probably already figured that out. The only way they could be better? If they were freakin’ deep-fried. Looking at you, McDonald’s.

Florida — Key Lime Pie

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To stick to the vein of desserts, what would the world of pie be like without Florida key lime pie? This sweet and tart whipped filling is perfectly complimented by the buttery graham cracker crust and the whipped topping. Now dip the whole slice in a vat of oil and deep fry that ish. Honestly, some of these suggestions might seem a little ridiculous but this one is dead serious. This would be huge, McDonald’s, we’re just saying.

Pennsylvania — Philly Cheesesteak

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When you think of Pennsylvania, you probably think of Philadelphia. Not the incredibly sad movie, but the capital of the state. And when you think of Philadelphia, your mind probably goes to a couple things. The only edible one? The one and only Philly cheesesteak. (Unless you consider the Liberty Bell edible, in which case, bye.) Now we’re not sure how the logistics of this would work; would these be deep-fried bites of steak, prepared Philly style? We can see that, but we can also see a full-blown, deep-fried Philly cheesesteak sandwich. The options are both there, McDonald’s. Get on it.

Illinois — Deep Dish Pizza

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Chicago deep dish pizza has been a traditional food of Illinois for nearly a century. If you’ve never enjoyed a slice, picture your typical pizza but a thousand times thicker. This brings us to our one qualm about this potential McDonald’s menu item: adding a layer of fried batter around this may be problematic for eating. We would all have to evolve with the ability to unhinge our jaws at will to be able to eat a deep-fried slice of Chicago deep dish. But I think we speak for all of humanity when we say it’s worth it.

New York — Pastrami

New York City is known for many things. Bagels and Coney Island hot dogs immediately come to mind. But what New York delicacy would be best deep-fried and available at the drive-thru? Pastrami. This might be literal blasphemy for the deli-goers of NYC, but for the rest of the world, imagine being able to pick up a McStrami (patent pending) whenever your heart desires. It’s pretty great, right?

Hawaii — Spam

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While to some of us Spam might seem like something suited only for doomsday preppers, this canned meat is one of the most beloved comfort foods in Hawaii. In fact, they already have a Spam and Egg McMuffin at McDonald’s Hawaii locations. But we’re looking to take things one step further: a fried SPAM sandwich. Honestly, I think it would help us on the mainland see this island favorite in a more favorable light. Anything in a coat of deep-fried batter is sure to win our hearts. That’s basically in the Constitution.

By Tessa Newell

Tessa lives and writes in Sturbridge, Massachusetts where she hoards an obnoxiously large collection of scarves and puts queso cheese on everything she sees. Although she looks short and tiny, Tessa can eat several cheeseburgers in one sitting and will do anything for a spoonful of peanut butter. Or a whole jar, whichever.