Dear Subway, F*ck Your $6 Footlong Deal, We Remember How Much They Used To Cost


You can bet Subway wishes they had a Men In Black-style Neuralyzer so we can forget a few things, the main one being that Jared Fogle ever existed, but now that they have a fantastic $6 footlong deal, they’re probably hoping we forgot the $5 footlong deals they engraved into our heads.

Subway announced that its $6 classic footlong deal would start Thursday, Feb. 4, and carry through the month of February, but people cannot forget the $5 deal.





It’s your own fault, Subway. Thanks to your outstanding marketing, I’ll never forget the little $5 footlong jingle:

Oh, you thought we forgot that cute little song that would play during every single commercial break of NFL games?

Yeah, I noticed when you tried to sneak in that extra dollar back in 2013, but I thought it was a phase. There’s no way you were going to train us so well, get us used to a certain standard, then jack up the price, right?

Well, at least you guys offered an explanation:


I guess you had to jack up the price a bit, but the new deal’s still a bit upsetting. On the bright side, it’s still not as upsetting as this guy:

We knew $5 footlongs couldn’t last forever, but just don’t make the same mistake and have catchy commercials for the $6 footlong, because I promise you it’s going to take more than two years to get that song out of our heads.

By Isai Rocha

Isai is the self-proclaimed Kanye West of burrito eating. He has a hard time trusting vegans, ranch dressing and especially vegan ranch dressing.

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